The Mystery Of The Missing Sparkles
by Kawaii-babi
Summary: Mark lost his sparkles... oh where in the world can they be? Dedicated to my dear friend, Nikki, aka Sparkles. ONESHOT


_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own RENT or any of the actors or anything associated to it. This fic is dedicated to my special friend and co-writer for I think 2 fics, hippy.intellect, aka Sparkles. I know I haven't written a RENT fic in a while, but I'm slowly coming back to it, just because my reviewers are awesome and I love them, and they love my stupidities! I LOVE MY REVIEWERS, OH YES I DO, I LOVE MY REVIEWERS, OH YES I DO, WHEN THEY'RE NOT WITH ME, I'M GREEN! OH MY REVIEWERS ARE READING MACHINES!_

Mark Cohen ran around the loft, throwing everything around in a futile search for lord knows what. Roger then walked into the loft just in time to see the couch being chucked halfway around the room. Roger saw Mark curl up into the fetal position and start rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. And as he rocked he said,

"I'll love you forever,  
I'll like you for always,  
As long as I'm living,

My baby you'll be…" Oops, wait, wrong story… heehee… sorry folks

Anywho, as he rocked he said, "Where are my sparkles? Where are my sparkles? WHERE ARE MY SPARKLES?!" Roger raised his eyebrow and walked up to Mark and lightly touched his shoulder.

"Mark, are you okay?" Roger asked. Mark's head snapped up and he glared at Roger.

"Am I okay? Am I OKAY? Do I LOOK like I'm okay?" Mark asked. Roger pondered for a second and Mark groaned.

"Don't answer that…" Mark said. Roger sighed and sat down next to Mark.

"Mark, what's wrong?" Roger asked. Mark looked at Roger and then looked away.

"I can't find my sparkles." Mark said. Roger looked at Mark in disbelief.

"You can't find your SPARKLES?" Roger asked. Mark nodded meekly. Roger went on his knees and put his hands in his hair.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Roger exclaimed. Mark nodded.

"That was exactly my reaction, except slightly higher pitched, and Mimi began whacking her ceiling with a broom, which resulted in a hole in your room…" Mark said. Roger glared at Mark. This was the 15th hole in his floor that was caused by Mark.

"Sorry." Mark said apologetically. Roger groaned and sat back down on his luscious bottom (mine, shotties, white magic, black magic, all other magics, SHOTGUN!) and put his finger on his chin, like he was thinking, but really, there was a monkey with that clangy thingy going off in his head. Roger began laughing spastically, and Mark bonked him on the head with a horseshoe.

"Can we get back to the real issue here? WHERE ARE MY SPARKLES?" Mark exclaimed. Suddenly, Maureen appeared in the room, dressed up in detective gear and smoking a cigarette.

"So, there are sparkles missing, eh? Well, this looks like a job for Maureen Johnson, private eye." Maureen said. Mark looked at her like she was crazy.

"MAUREEN! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT SMOKING IN THE LOFT?" Mark asked. Maureen sighed.

"Don't smoke in the loft." Maureen said, mocking Mark's voice. Mark glared at her.

"Do you know where my sparkles are?" Mark asked impatiently. Maureen grabbed her kit and began to process the room. Once she was done processing, she walked up to Mark.

"Well?" Mark asked. Maureen packed up her kit.

"Yup, there are definitely some sparkles missing." Maureen said. Mark slapped his forehead and Roger grunted.

"Way to go genius." Roger said sarcastically. Maureen grinned like a Cheshire cat and clapped her hands while bouncing up and down.

"YAY! I'm a genius!" Maureen announced. Roger groaned and threw a random rubber duck at her, which knocked her unconscious. Roger grinned triumphantly and Mark mouthed a silent thank you. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Mark looked at Roger, and Roger looked right back at him. Mark nodded and walked toward the door, but not before grabbing a frying pan and lifting it in the air, ready to strike. He got to the door and quickly opened it and started swinging like a madman, before he made contact with something hard… a briefcase.

"What the fuck is your problem, Mark?" Joanne asked. Mark muttered a quick apology and let Joanne in the loft. Joanne cringed at the sight of the loft, seeing as it was a huge mess and she was so much of an anal-retentive. She looked over at Roger, who just shrugged and grabbed a pixie stick and started eating the sugar-filled straw.

"What the fuck happened here?" Joanne asked. Mark sighed.

"Someone stole my sparkles!" Mark announced. Joanne dropped her briefcase and put her hands on her face as her mouth went wide (like that Home Alone kid)

"NOT THE SPARKLES! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Joanne yelled. Roger looked up from his pixie stick.

"That was exactly my reaction." Roger said.

"And mine" Mark said.

"And mine" Elsie said.

"OH MY GOD A TALKING COW!" Mark exclaimed, and then he bonked Elsie on the head with the frying pan. It ricocheted off of Elsie's head and hit Mark on the forehead. There were two loud thumps as both Elsie and Mark fell to the floor unconscious. Joanne shook her head in disbelief and walked around the apartment, seeing all the fingerprint dust and 'DO NOT CROSS' yellow tape and sighed.

"I shouldn't have bought Maureen that CSI fan kit." Joanne said to herself. Suddenly, she saw Maureen on the floor, unconscious, so she began poking her with a random stick she found on the ground. Maureen mumbled something and rolled over. Suddenly, Joanne saw a white piece of paper stuck to Maureen's butt. She cautiously took it off and looked at it and read it.

'_Dearest Markykins,_

_I need a sparkly outfit for this thing at this place that this guy invited me to on that street that we did that thing that one time. You know which one I'm talking about, right? Anywho, I hope you don't mind I used your sparkles. I'll buy you some new ones, it's just that I was too lazy to go out and buy some more. I LOVE YOU MARKY!_

_Lots of love,_

_Benny_

_P.S. I love you, you love me, we're a happy family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you say you love me too?'_

Joanne stared at the note in disbelief, and then she went over to Mark and started poking him. Mark jolted up and screamed.

"R KELLY DON'T PEE ON ME!" Mark yelled. Joanne raised her eyebrow.

"Who's R Kelly?" Joanne asked. Mark shrugged.

"I don't know." Mark replied. Joanne passed Mark the note, and Mark read it and started blushing.

"Oh my… I guess we know where the sparkles went…" Mark said. Joanne started laughing, and Roger began eating his 22nd pixie stick. Maureen grumbled a bit and then smacked her face and resumed her snoring. And that is the case of the missing sparkles.

**THE END**

_I hope y'all liked it. I worked so hard on this, all for my friend Nikki! She is so awesome, and her answering machine thingy is so unoriginal. It's 'SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAK' It's a little annoying, especially since she didn't get my message yet… FEEL THE WRATH OF THE EVIL SICK JORDIIE WHO'S ANGRY AT HER FRIEND! RAWR!_


End file.
